Covert Christian Couchsurfing

After two years of being a member of Couchsurfing, I have finally surfed for the first time and it was great! I stayed with a local girl in Guanxhi province and it was more than I could have hoped for although, at first, I was a bit worried. She was meeting up with a friend of hers and told me that the woman was working as a missionary. She also asked if it would be ok if she told the woman that I was a Christian because the missionary chick doesn’t like her having non-Christian friends.

I really can’t stand missionaries, I’m hugely unreligious, and I’m a terrible liar so agreeing to this sort of thing was tough. But what the hell, why not. I was secretly hoping to get an invite to a local, underground church because it would have been interesting, but it was not to be. Instead I bowed my head for grace (not really knowing what I was doing), said ‘amen’ at the right time (I think) and was on my best behaviour. I managed to get through lunch without exposing myself as the heathen that I am or insulting the Christians so I figured I was off to a good start. What’s the deal with that lady only wanting her to be friends with Christians? Did I mention I can’t stand missionaries?

Ok less ranting, more posting. So that night we headed to a Chinese nightclub complete with Western music from the late nineties, cage dancers and a flame throwing bartender. My host was a dancing machine who wouldn’t let me sit down. Normally this would be ok except that I had spent all day on buses and felt really gross, the bar was strangely well lit, the area where we were dancing was elevated, and being the only foreigner in there meant that escaping the staring crowds was impossible.

Normally in situations like these I would drink lots and forget my worries but this was impossible since the Chinese have developed some kind of crazy system for drinking in bars which involves downing beer in shots all at the same time. This meant that sucking back a couple of bottles of beer quickly was not an option. So I put on a brave face and danced badly in a well lit bar on a podium with all eyes staring at me and just went with it.

The next day we hopped on a bus with a couple of her friends and headed out of town a bit to a local swimming spot. Guanxhi province is beautiful with rivers snaking through mountain scenery and the swimming spot was gorgeous. Chinese families and groups of friends were downing beers, barbequing, playing mahjong, swimming and enjoying the sunshine. It was pretty cool. I got to barbeque and coat my meat in a spicy MSG concoction. Good stuff.

Overall the experience was pretty amazing. I ended up making some new friends, learned a lot about Chinese culture, and discovered nightclubs and rivers that I would never have found on my own. Couchsurfing is the way forward.

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