Hiking for me has never been an enjoyable experience. It’s just a thing I feel like I need to do along the way so I don’t feel lazy. The reality of it is that hiking is a test of whether of not I can drag my unfit arse up a mountain or across a field without hyperventalating or falling down. So a approach these little walks with a bit of apprehension and thought I’d give a report on each to see if I slowly grow more fond of the outdoors.
The Hike: Cameron Highlands, parts of paths 3, 4, 5 and 6.
Distance: No idea.
Time: About 4 hours.
Weather: Beautiful the whole way.
Guide: As I approached where I thought path 4 was to start an old Indian-Malaysian guy asked me where I was heading and then convinced me that path 5 was the way to go. I was quite keen to just put my iPod on and zone out while wandering around snapping some photos but, considering I had no idea where any of these paths started, I decided to follow along. I was kind of expecting (and hoping) him to take me to the beginning of the path and then carry on on his way to wherever he was going. It turns out though that he’s a trekking guide and was going for a walk since he had no customers that day. So I was stuck with him for the entire walk but except for a somewhat dodgy offer of a leg massage and him putting mosquito cream on a bite above my right boob, it was handy having him around. He explained a lot of the plants, pointed out some cool things and pimped me out with lots of jungle goodies. By the end of my walk I had a plant that could blow like a whistle, a bamboo walking stick, a corporal punishment whipping stick, a hat made from a fern, and a bracelet he weaved out of some sort of bamboo-like plant. The bracelet was way too small for my hand and while it eventually wiggled on, I’m not sure my hand will ever be the same again. He made another one for my right wrist but I managed to dodge that one and put it into my pocket. After the hike he kind of headed off quite abruptly. He said he could show me the way back to my hostel but I had to go to an ATM machine in the opposite direction and off he went. Strangely, a few minutes later when I was paying for stuff at the front of a shop I noticed that he was standing on the sidewalk and then he saw that I saw him and left really quickly without aknowledging that he’d seen me. Which he did. No idea what that was all about. Good guide but a little odd and and semi creepy at times.
Time Spent Lost: Because I bumped into that guy I managed not to get lost at all. If I was without him I doubt very much that I would have even found the start of any of the trails, let alone got myself around a whole bunch of them. Once you’re on them they’re reasonably well signed but finding the start of any of them seemed to involve ducking through schools, into people’s back yards and through farmland. I would still be wandering around now if I was on my own.
Moments of Hyperventalation: I pretty much made the guide guy promise me that there were no steep bits and he assured me that this walk was easy and that families do it. If grandma and the kiddies can do it then I’ll be damned if I’m not going to have a crack. For the most part the trail was easy but due to my extreme lack of fitness and general wimpyness, there were a couple of moments where I thought I was done for. But after a stop for water and a fake shoe tying stop life was good again.
Moments of Injury: I only stacked it once and it was right at the end of the hike. The lame thing is that I managed to fall on a paved path. The entire way was frought with roots, rivers, slippy rocks, soft mud soakers and steep hills but it was the damned path at the end that got me. That thing is slippery. The guide guy actually told me to walk on the dirt beside the path and I did for a minute but then switched back to the path. Then I started thinking ‘wouldn’t it be funny if I fell down because I’m totally ignoring his advice’ and immediately afterwards I bit it, falling backwards onto my hand. No harm done though, only a battered ego.
How much I hated it: Surprisingly, I didn’t hate it at all. It was a nice day, nice trail, nice (if a bit creepy) guide. Maybe hiking isn’t so bad after all.
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