I have just escaped the noisiest hotel I have ever experienced. The hotel is made of wood and I think it has a family of elephants living on the floor above me. I have no idea how it’s possible to stomp around so much. Plus the lock on the toilet outside of my room is broken which meant that people were getting stuck in there (myself included) every hour or so and banging the hell out of the door for their freedom. Also, there’s a highway across the river and the vehicles barrelling down the road are all equipped with ear shattering horns that they like to honk as often as possible. And last but not least, boat tours head up and down the river and loud singalongs seem to break out willy nilly starting at about 7am.
As if the noise wasn’t bad enough, the smells surrounding this place are nasty. I managed to give myself food poisening yesterday. I suspect a dodgy bowl of breakfast noodles. Beef, chili peppers and noodles are not meant to be breakfast food. I was hanging out in a coffee shop across the river from my hotel when I suddenly came to the conclusion that I should be back at the hotel in bed and in close proximity to the toilet so I bolted for home.
To get back to my hotel I had to cross over a bridge which had a slew of salespeople on the other side. Normally, not a problem. In this case they were peddling tiny shrimp and other fishy things that had been baking in the hot sun for most of the afternoon. I pushed through the pain and managed not to puke. Test number two came in the alley on the way to the hotel where a man had set up shop selling ’stinky tofu’. Yes that’s its name and yes, it stinks. Plus it looks like fried testicles. Not that I know what fried testicles looks like, mind you. I managed to hold my breath as I barrelled down the alleyway elbowing wmen and children from my path for the greater good of not having me vomit all over them.
Other than my crappy hotel, Fenghuang is actually a pretty nice place. It’s under seige from Chinese tourists but foreigners seem to be a rarity. The touts here haven’t yet learned their sales pitches in English and they generally leave me alone and instead harass my Chinese friend. We’ve since discovered a very cool hostel with a cafe and wifi and I think I’ll park myself here for a few days, try to get some work done and hope that the noise and smells don’t follow me here.
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