I don’t usually have too many problems meeting new people. I’m reasonably outgoing and have my social skills in good order, despite spending most of my time behind a computer screen. But meeting people I really connect with is a bit harder for me. Most people I meet are nice and normal. I much prefer the people who are a bit eccentric and off the wall with a warped, inappropriate sense of humour. The sorts of people you find yourself trading poo stories with before you’ve exchanged names. These are the people I get along best with but they’re kind of hard to come by. Truly funny people are a rare breed.
But, amazingly, there seem to be plenty of these folks in Kigali and it’s a big part of the reason I’m still in the city. I value the people I meet on my travels way more than the places I’m actually going to see and I’ll often scrap entire trips because I’m having a great experience and meeting good people. I ditched an expensive plane ticket to Buenos Aires in January 2009 because I was having such an amazing time in Haiti. The reasoning… Buenos Aires isn’t going anywhere but I’d never have those same friends in the same situation in Haiti ever again and I wanted to enjoy the moment for as long as I could. The five months I spent in Haiti in 2008/09 remain as one of the best times of my life and, yep, Argentina is still there and I can go anytime.
The fun people I’ve met here have started me thinking about how ‘I wish so and so in Kigali could meet so and so in Toronto’, or ‘This guy would love my friend in Sydney’ etc. Then, after thinking a bit about where all of my best friends live, I came to the realisation that none actually live in the same city. Most of my good friends don’t even know each other! Even worse, I only get to see most of my favourite people once a year or less. Lame.
This might explain why I can’t give an answer to the dreaded ‘Where can you see yourself settling down?’ question. I don’t even know where I would have a home base, even if I did still travel for most of the year. As I’ve mentioned, for me travel is all about the people and experiences and less about the things I’m seeing, and I don’t think choosing a hometown is any different. True, I could move to a place and stay for many years and build up a great group of friends, but it would just be so much easier deciding on a place to live if all of my friends just moved to the same city. Is it too much to ask all of my favourite people to move to London or New York?
So while seeing my friends in one place probably isn’t likely to happen anytime soon, I do end up crossing paths with a lot of them in all sorts of different parts of the world. I’ve met up with a bunch so far in Rwanda, a few in South Africa, and I’m hoping to see a couple more in Malawi and Zambia. I’ve met up with several on three or more continents in all sorts of different circumstances. Some of my friends have never really travelled much, some have and have decided to settle down in one place, and some seem to continually wander around, usually chasing after disasters. It’s pretty cool to meet up with people in various parts of the world and I think I might like that just as much or more than having everyone all in one spot.
So I’m left with what seems to be a common dilemma. I’m really loving it in Rwanda but I should be travelling. I have a new African travel website to fill with information and, while I am still working the site’s setup here in Kigali, it should be ready for information in a few weeks and Rwanda is one tiny piece of the puzzle. Plus I’ve committed to volunteering in Uganda at a place I have a big hunch I’ll love as well… getting dirty volunteering on a farm. I love that stuff. Plus there’s a crazy boat trip I want to take from Burundi to Zambia. Plus a million other things I want to do.
But it’s so easy to get settled and comfortable and all I think I really want to do is hang out in Kigali, get to know the city and people here better and maybe take a few trips while keeping Rwanda as my base. I like the idea of being here over Christmas and New Years and having familiar faces around to share the holidays with. At $300 a month my rent is cheap, my house is nice, and I’ve managed to get my spending under control and get into a bit of a routine. But then the thoughts of work and volunteering creep into my head and I question that plan.
I guess I’ll just take things as they come. That’s the best part about this ridiculous lifestyle of mine… being able to change my mind pretty much on a whim.
How much importance do you guys put on the people part of your travels? Are you flexible on your travels and how much of a role do people you meet play in any changes of plans you make? Do have friends all over the place or can you go back to a place in your home country and be surrounded by a number of good friends back there?
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